Hello again! It's been a while since the last installment. We had some ups and downs, but more importantly, I think these entries need to have a "natural flow" and not feel like I have a deadline to meet. So with that being said, let's dig into part 3.
I'm in the Navy! Ill-fitting uniform and all, I am ready to take on the world; I just got to figure out how to do it first. I was lucky to have the first set of bosses that I had. Semi-strict, but fair. My first four years were a mess. Not only was I trying to figure out who I was as a person, but I was also trying to figure out how to be in the Navy. At times this was rough. I was entering a dog-eat-dog profession, but I couldn't be farther from that way of thinking. As I would learn later in my career, this would be used against me in a sense that I bought into what was being preached. The Navy is a team; you just have to play for the "right team," and then all is well.
As I began to search out fellow nerds, I realized that reading comics, playing D&D, and being in that group was apparently fair game for ridicule, just as not being a bed-wetting conservative. Within my first year in the Navy, I would learn that this is nothing short of being in high school but getting a salary. I will spend a lot of time figuring out if this is what I really want to do with my life. Hell, I'm 43 and still trying to nail down precisely what it is I'm supposed to be doing!
Looking back at my first 4 years in the Navy, it was easier to figure out the regulations I had to abide by while being in the military than it was figuring out how bad the leadership was going to contradict not only themselves but the "values" that we were supposed to be upholding while being active duty. I know this is not by any means exclusive to the military, but at 18, this wreaked havoc with how I operated and is 100% to blame on how I became more progressive the longer I spent in the Navy. As I mentioned earlier about the military being a salaried version of high school, once you get settled into your new duty station, you will be promptly outfitted for your clique, where you will remain for the duration of your time there. Once I got my clique, I was off to the races.
Like high school, I got along with an assortment of folks; my biggest problem was the constant and consistent "do as I say, not as I do" approach to military leadership. For the next 20 years, this would continue to baffle me. But, as I write this, I don't want to make the military seem as it's the worst thing that you could do with your life, far from it. Remember, I was 18 when I hopped on my first ship. I was super naive and didn't know anything. My mailing address was to the ship, so I had my copy of The Progressive come to the ship, and the fun began. The secret is out! "How can you be a democrat and in the military?" To this very day, I am still asked this question in some form or another. The military has a charity fundraising campaign called the Combined Federal Campaign (CFC). There's a catalog that lists tons of charities you can give to. From big names like the March of Dimes to smaller organizations like Refuse & Resist!. R&R was a human rights campaign that started during the Reagan years that I found out about in high school. For years I would give to them through the CFC, and at times you would think I was killing puppies.
Aside from me honing my political ideals, I did come across some really great people in my first four years. People who I still think about the life wisdom that they imparted on me. For me, this was huge. To sit with folks who were twice and in some cases almost three times my age and soak it all in. This was pure magic. During the 2000 presidential fiasco, I had started to openly express my concern with what was going on and my disdain for people like George Bush and Roger Stone. This would be the first of many times that I would be told that it may be a good idea not to express certain opinions; however, if I wanted to, then I would have to learn "how to do it." The ensuing conversation I had with my department head was fabulous. He was a staunch conservative and wore capitalism like a fine cologne. But he was also an intelligent dude and one of the people I will FOREVER be indebted to for his wisdom. He was the first person that listened and didn't mind that I asked questions that may have gone against the grain but helped me formulate those questions to an acceptable tone that would work with being in the military.
One of my favorite stories during this time was when we were getting ready to deploy, and we had to be on the ship the night before. I go to muster, and I'm in shorts, flip flops, and wearing a Jerry Garcia t-shirt. My department head looks at me and simply says, "it figures." While most folks laughed, some felt wearing a Jerry Garcia shirt fell into the category of "depicting drug use." Welcome to the military.
Along with some really great memories, I would meet someone who would become my best friend and the person who would bail me out of almost going to jail in Nova Scotia. 20 plus years later, he is still bailing me out, and I'm forever grateful.
I remember getting a call while I was on leave at my parent's house in Las Vegas. I was playing Tomb Raider on my PS1 when my stepdad said I had a phone call. I figured it was work, possibly getting recalled back to the ship or something along those lines. The voice on the other end was female and was Nicki. I knew her from a circle of friends. At this point, we've probably known each other for about a year. I was confused about why she was calling. With the phone sandwiched between my shoulder and ear and playing Tomb Raider, we chatted. While she flirted, I played video games. She would eventually invite me down to her college to get coffee. Me being me, I put on my best pair of Etnies, cargo shorts, and my Jerry Garcia shirt and headed down to North Carolina for coffee. As she opened the door in a dress (not formal or too fancy), I immediately knew this was more of a date than just grabbing coffee. So our first date was me wearing shorts and a Jerry Garcia shirt while she was in makeup, nice shoes, and a dress. 22 years later, I guess that Jerry Garcia shirt really impressed her.
So, I think this is a good stopping point. The next installment we'll get into September 11th, MySpace, having my MySpace profile monitored, and going through one of the most challenging times in my life. Getting sober. Thanks for reading.
